worth the wait

Our pregnancy announcement is filled with an enormous amount of joy and excitement, but it’s also filled with a lot of truth.

The truth is getting here was difficult. Being plagued with infertility just plain sucks and I know how tough it is to see these “announcement posts” when you’re trying so hard to get here yourself. In fact, I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not to even share, but decided that if I can help someone not feel so alone, it’s worth getting a little more personal than I normally would.

Infertility is something that no one wants to talk about. I never really understood why, but I completely get it now. It’s extremely personal and unfortunately completely misunderstood by a lot of people.

In a world full of tests, needles, a plethora of misinformation, confusion, loneliness, isolation, and heartbreak it’s hard to get out of bed some days let alone to try and make people understand what you’re going through.

All of the tests, needles, drugs, procedures, surgeries, and endless appointments are just a small part. And for me, that was actually the easy part.

Picking yourself up after each bump in the road is hard. Fighting back the tears when you hear bad news is even harder. In fact, sometimes you just can’t fight it anymore and you find yourself standing in the doctor’s office crying into the arms of the compassionate nurse.

As if all of that isn’t bad enough, you also have to deal with people who think it’s appropriate to ask questions about your fertility. Being badgered by family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers on if/when you want kids. Dreading holidays/parties/baby showers because you’re afraid someone is going to ask questions. Or my personal favorite: when people point out that you’re not a mom. Gee thanks! I had no idea. ???

Dealing with infertility certainly has its challenges, but it’s also taught me a lot. Among all of the fear, sadness, and unknown I discovered having hope and determination can take you a long way. Sure, I went through all of the “what if” scenarios, but in the end I remained positive and trusted the process.

I can say without a doubt, I never would have made it through any of this without my husband. Not only did he keep me going with constant encouragement, but he administered every single injection without complaint. He also made a million phone calls to the insurance company (who we are now on a first name basis with ?).

We are very fortunate and thankful that IVF worked for us. Without the help of science, an amazing doctor, and his phenomenal staff we wouldn’t have gotten here. My eyes fill with tears just thinking about what they do every single day and how many lives they’ve touched. The professionalism, patience, and compassion they showed us gave us the reassurance we needed throughout the journey. We will be forever grateful to all of them.

Infertility is hard, but having great people by your side makes it bearable.

Good things come to those who wait. So we waited. And it was worth it.?

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The above photo and text were shared on my personal Facebook page a few weeks ago with family and friends when we felt comfortable announcing our pregnancy. I’m now sharing it here with all of my readers. I want to be open about our experience with infertility because it’s very easy to feel like you’re alone. It’s something a lot of us don’t feel comfortable talking about, but it helped me immensely to read stories of success as well as the stories of those still on their journey. So, if I can help one person then I’ll keep sharing my story. Just remember, you’re not alone.

I’ve been neglecting this blog for quite some time now. At first I was still attempting to post regularly or at least somewhat regularly, but in the last 5-6 months I was lucky to get up one post in a month. The whole IVF process is very time consuming and draining, which ultimately made my love of cooking and sharing recipes with you all seem, well, pointless. My heart wasn’t in it so I just couldn’t bring myself to pump out new content that I wasn’t proud of. 

Once we actually had confirmation that I was pregnant, I felt a whole lot of fear/emotion/disbelief. Then the all-day sickness (seriously, whoever coined the term morning sickness was sorely mistaken) hit and the last thing on my mind was food. I was lucky to even eat something other than buttered noodles or popsicles, let alone create recipes, test them, photograph them, and then talk about them. The thought of all of that turned my stomach!

Even though I’m into the second trimester, the all-day sickness is still with me, but it’s not quite as severe as it was early on. That being said, I’m hoping to resume a somewhat regular posting schedule now that I at least have some good days where I’m not plagued with fatigue and nausea. 

Oh, and before I end this post I should mention that I’ve discovered I can tolerate gluten in my diet! This was actually an accidental discovery – I was served flour tortillas in a restaurant instead of the corn that I requested. I didn’t want to complain so I ate them figuring I would just deal with the consequences. (I don’t have celiac, just a sensitivity to gluten) When I felt perfectly fine in the hours and days after consuming them, I was really surprised.

Then I remembered that a lot of food intolerances can go away during pregnancy and sure enough after a little research I found out that it’s really common! For some people it never comes back and for others it comes back with vengeance. So fingers crossed it stays away for me. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the foods I’ve missed as well as the ease of dining out without a food intolerance. I wanted to mention this because I’ll probably share some gluten-containing recipes over the next few months, but I’ll still provide possible swaps if you need gluten-free, so don’t worry!

Thanks for reading, friends. Have a fabulous weekend. ✌?